Taungo Depasquale: There, the conversation hinted at sex now and then, but they still never discussed what she had been doing on the balcony.

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Instead of telling you what I have to offer, lets talk about what I'm not. I'm unable to stay in one dimension. Since the invention of my dimensionphasotron, I vanish into other dimensions at random times. Its awesome though. The curiouslesbianswhowanttryguys dimension is my favorite. I'm not a greek god, I just look like one. I'm not able to expose my breasts for any type of monetary or social gain due to a binding contractual agreement with playgirl magazine. For tax purposes, I am unable to go by my birth name in social settings. You will have to refer to me as 'Lord Prissypants III' I cannot perform Irish dances. I will not explain why either. I cannot act traditionally in bed. I will make loud noises, and occasionally perform animal calls. If I begin to make whale noises, you are doing a good job. I'm not magical dwarf wizard disguised as a responsible adult. I cannot socialize with my father since he destroyed my uncle's house on Tattooine. Please do not try to reunite us. After beating Kobe Bryant in an intense game of oneonone, his gang of evil ruffians from the planet Lakeites took my jumping ability with their superextractoray. Therefore, I can no longer slam dunk. I am prohibited from visiting any local Albuquerque parks since I was convicted of molesting an 80 year old oak tree. While I maintained it was consensual, the tree remained silent and allowed the judicial system to make a grave error. I am unable to be in the same room with a glass of grape juice. After a devious glass of juice threw itself upon my parents rug, I do not trust or tolerate any liquid form of grapes. When I was a prostitute in east detroit, I got into a fight with a fellow hooker named Lushisha. She attempted to take my favorite pink patent leather heels. After raining fierce blows down upon her face, she was vanquished. However, I find it hard to ever wear those heels again. Please do not ask me to do so. I will be unable to op

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