Oancea Vanproosdy: My tongue licks a little lower, beneath your balls.

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I am a 39 year old guy. I have been divorced for three years. I have kids by my ex, but no drama. They and my ex live in another state. I am single, sane, intelligent, consider myself relatively goodlooking and in good physical shape. I have a lot to offer the right person, when I find her. I am a white guy but date outside my race as often as not. I'm relatively new to the Valley, Alabama area, I have been here a little more than a year. I gotta admit I'm still not quite used to smalltown life. All I want is a girlfriend. Someone normal. Someone to talk with and have fun, experience life together... Not just a bootycall, not just NSA...someone who I like, find a connection with, common ground with, etc. Someone who isn't all about gossip and smalltown thinking and rumors and did you hear, soandso sleeping with their bestfriend's boyfriend who slept with their other friend who was dating a friend who was sleeping with her cousin who's pregnant with her exhusband's kid and got caught cheating and ended up....and did you hear about Mary Beth? WOW!!! I understand there isn't much to do here, but stop already with the drama and getting into other people's business and messing up their lives! What is wrong with people here????? I'm at the point of becoming very cynical about the possibility of finding anyone in this area I would choose to spend my time with. So, in my frustration, here are some anecdotes inspired by actual women I have met in the past year. Yes, they are a little sarcastic, and yes, maybe I embellished a little to make a point but they are very truetolife. Maybe you identify with me in wanting someone without these traits. If so, just shoot me an email and lets chat and get to know each other. On the other hand, if these hit close to home and offend you....hmmmmmm. 1 You write or speak in Gangsta thang, da, dat, holla, use improper or mismatched plurals and tenses, etc. You refer to friends as nigga, regardless of race, either yours or

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